and frustrated    And sad...... and mad at myself...... 

And the reason is quite simple - we got the results of the TF-testes for 7 of our cats. 

Disappointed, frustrated and sad - since Bart & Honeybumps test was nearly negative, Vinnie, Puma, Lina, Muffin and Lion-O`s was clearly positive. I have started to hope for and almost believe that we would get negative results but no.

Mad at myself - we discussed with our vets how we should do the treatment of our cats and since they have good experience with medicate cats with TF once a day for 14 days and the Ronidazole has some severe sideeffects we went for the solution the vets thought would be right. I was a bit doubtful but I agreed. I asked if the vets thought it would be smart to isolate each cat but they could not see any point in doing that since we would medicate every cat at the same time. Now I know better, I should have followed my gut feeling.

So what do we do know?

Our first reaction was negative, there have been so many problems these years and we felt we really needed some positive experiences. Is it really this way it should be? With illnesses, paracites, dying kittens and medicine, medicine, medicine....... One worse than the other? How far can we go? How much can we push and pull our beloved fourlegged companians through? Where should we stop? I do not know...... Finn-Ove do not know. But it feels like we are very close now to the finishline. At the same time it is so sad to think about not having any litters for a couple of years...... We do not know what to do.........We are tired...... the bankaccount is screaming STOP!!! But I guess we will go on for another round of treatment..... later.....